More on Ava

Ava is still having some meltdowns that just get the best of me. She will just scream at the top of her lungs for sometimes no reason at all. It upsets me that she upsets me so much. I guess it also upsets me because sometimes I am at an absolute loss for what to do. I will be patient and sweet and she will just scream and cry, I will try to stop her behavior by removing her from the situation and she will continue to scream and cry. If she's not screaming, a lot of the time she's whining. She craves our CONSTANT attention. More than ever before. It's frustrating when I tell her no, and she keeps doing something, or when we are in a parking lot and I tell her she needs to hold our hand and she screams and pulls away. The other night she pulled Christine's hair twice. We had to pry her hand open. She's being very defiant sometimes. I know that she know's she's misbehaving.

Today she was coughing and not feeling that great so I kept her home from school. Laura and I and Ava went to the mall for just a little while to get Laura a dress and shoes for graduation and Ava was better than she has been for a long time. I really think school is taking it's toll on her. Thankfully school is done next Wed. I think Ava is missing our time together. I think school takes every bit of energy she has, and she can't control herself when she gets home. And that doesn't go over well with me. Because I'm a stickler for respect and decent behavior.

Oh well, this is just a tough time right now. I pray that I can be the mommy that Ava needs and God will tell me what to do. I get discouraged because I feel that Ava should be communicating better than she is. She's soooo smart in other areas and catches on so fast, sometimes I'm concerned that she's not using more words.

I have always enjoyed having my children right by my side, but I'll be honest, sometimes I just can't wait until Ava goes to bed. Things have drastically changed since she started school. It is beginning to wear on me, because I feel like I'm not smiling as much. My sweet adorable Ava has done a flip flop and I guess I am having a hard time right now. I just want my sweet girl back.

I'm looking forward to this summer, to see if being home helps. If it does, then I will have to re-evaluate sending her back to school 5 days a week next fall. Maybe that's just too much for her right now. I just don't know if I have any choices with the public school. And with a private school she may not get the speech therapy, etc she needs. I know that God already has this planned out. I'll take this one day at a time; right now I'm thankful she's napping. I pray that when she wakes up she will be happy. I'm so thankful for her, she's just wearing me out right now!

5 hours later

I think it's only fair to let you know how the rest of our day went. After Ava's nap, she was the sweetest little girl. She has had such a different attitude today.  We went to the library, the grocery store (where we met another adoptive parent and his adorable little boy. We talked for a little while and exchanged phone numbers. They live just around the corner from us, their little boy will turn 4 in a couple months, he was from Beijing. It's a small, small world! ) After supper we took Ava to the park and she had so much fun. She's been coughing throughout the day, but started running a fever this evening. So, she hasn't even felt good and has been sweet. My gut is telling me that school is just too much for her right now. But she only has the rest of this week (she can't go tomorrow- we'll probably end up at the doctor, so we'll have to see about Friday) plus 3 days next week. I guess I'll worry about next fall when the time comes!!  Anyway, I just wanted to end this post on a good note!! God is good, I sure did need some encouragement. I'm not glad Ava is sick, but I'm glad she stayed home today and had such a good day!

Ava loves her sisters!!