Details I want to remember

This is how we found Ava. Or rather, how God found Ava for us. 

We were logged into our agency on 5/10/12. This means that we were eligible to be "matched" with a child who was more "minor needs," and who hadn't been on an agency list for a long time. It was expected that China would receive the big shared list Memorial Day night, 5/28/12. When this happens, the agencies scramble to get children who they think their families may want. They "lock" these children in to their agency so not just "anyone" can see the children's files. I hear this is a huge deal for the agencies and a lot of hard work. We naturally assumed we would be matched with a little girl with a minor heart problem. We assumed this for many reasons. First of all, we have had "heart" experience with Laura, so we naturally assumed that God was using that experience to prepare us for our future little girl. Plus, everyone said there were sooo many babies out there like that. We had several friends who had adopted little girls with heart issues and this was one of reasons we became so interested in a Special Needs child from China. We figured this was something we could handle. Plus our coordinator said she would try to match us with this next list.  All this being said, I felt very confident that we were going to find our child when this list came out the end of May. When I hadn’t heard anything from our agency for a few days, I decided to email our coordinator and ask her if the list really did come out. She replied that “yes” the list was released but she was unable to match us with an appropriate file this time around. She said that a little girl with the age range we wanted (age 2-4) and the needs we wanted were actually not that easy to find. I was so surprised to hear that. I had been reading that the shared lists had changed a little over the past several months, and there were fewer girls available. I also read where it was harder to find a little girl with only a heart defect.  I got the response Wed., May 30, 2012 from our coordinator that we would not be matched this time and the next list would be out in another month--the end of June. Craig was out of town travelling that night, the girls and I had stayed up to watch a movie, and we all went to bed around midnight. For those of you who know me, I’m not a night owl, but that evening, I just couldn’t relax. I figured it was just because I was upset about the news that we would not find our little girl this time, and that it would be another month or more of waiting and anticipation. Like I said, I just couldn’t unwind so I came to the computer and did my normal Adoption Advocate reading. Sometimes reading about other peoples stories (good and bad) just kind of puts my life in perspective. We are blessed, God is good, and His timing is perfect—regardless of what MY plans may be!!

As I was reading and searching, I noticed a new picture on my agency’s waiting child list. This little girl looked familiar, but the picture was titled “May 22, 2012 --update.”  It caught my attention because of this little ones sweet smile and the wording on her update. It was around 1:30am and I felt like I needed to go to bed, but I couldn’t shut down my computer without asking my agency to send me this little girl's file to review. So I did.

When I woke up in the morning, I had received the file. I read through it, and realized that this little girl’s file had been on my agency’s list for quite awhile. It was a picture of  her when she was 2 years old, (that wasn’t very flattering) and the write up about her was so vague. Her special need was labled as "Delay." This new picture was just really sweet, and her updated information was very encouraging!  I immediately sent it to Craig. He instantly fell in love (as did Laura and Christine) but her medical file was so vague, that we were really concerned about what her special need really meant. We decided to send her file to our pediatrician, and to an International Adoption Doctor. When we spoke to both medical professionals they told us what they thought, and that we would have to be willing to accept the worst case scenerio. Which would be that this child could possibly have delays that would affect her the rest of her life. Nothing was really proven, she had had no hospital tests, nothing was physically wrong with her. The only information we had about her progress was what the caregivers at her orphanage said about her. And they said that she comprehends things slower than her peers. 

Our hearts were very touched, but it took us 7 days to completely decide that she was OURS. God seemed to be telling us to trust Him. We had to believe in the things unseen. He kept telling me that He was leading us on this journey and we needed to take this "leap of faith" and trust Him that this was the child we were supposed to have. This is some information that I found out later, that I find is very interesting! 

1.     Her file had been with our agency since Feb 19^th ---agency’s are only supposed to have a file for 3 months, then the files are normally released to the shared list, where any agency can place her. 3 months would have been May 19^th. (Remember the date I saw her file was May 30^th.)

2.     The coordinator had requested an update for this little girl’s file months ago, because the file was over 1 year old. China finally did an update on her May 22^nd.  (3 days after the file should have been taken off my agency’s list.) The update was not published until May 30^th (around midnight)

3.     I was the first person to request her file once her picture had the updated information. My agency said there had been a lot of inquiries on her since the updated information. We locked in her file, and spoke with doctors, etc and sent our Pre- Adoption application (Letter of intent) on Wed. June 5^th.

4.     These were my revelations:  I might not have looked at her file, even with the updated information if I had seen her file before I found out that our agency couldn’t match us. BECAUSE, her special need was not what we thought we were looking for. We thought we wanted a child with a heart problem, but this little girl is completely healthy, but with a special need of “delay.” (with no medical proof) So, during the time that we were trying to hear God’s voice, He just kept telling me to trust Him, and that He would bring me more “joy” than I had ever imagined. Turns out that her name Le Hai means “joy, happiness.”  I also feel like there was a reason that she stayed on my agency’s list longer than she should have. I wouldn’t have been able to lock in her file otherwise.  So, all that just shows me that God’s timing is perfect. I think sometimes we casually say that--- when things don’t work out the way we want, or when we don’t understand why things work out the way they do. Sometimes people just throw out that saying without thinking about it.  But, GOD does have a plan, sometimes (actually most of the time) it is nothing like we imagine, and it’s nothing like what we “thought” it would be. But, oh so much better J   I know that God has been involved in every single detail of this adoption!